The Frustrations of Online Dating: A Journey of Disheartenment and Confusion

Last year, I (25M) experienced the sudden and distressing end of a wonderful relationship due to my partner’s health conditions. It was a painful and traumatic experience, and I have dedicated most of this year to coming to terms with it and healing on my own.

During the summer, I went on a few casual dates to reintroduce myself to the idea of dating. In the past month or two, I finally decided that I am ready to explore the possibility of a serious relationship again. I returned to dating apps, but this has been my worst experience with them so far. I have received very few matches or likes (approximately 4 in the span of 2 months), and each interaction has quickly turned sour.

I had a conversation with one match who seemed interested in going out, but as soon as I proposed a date, she ghosted me. While this behavior is not uncommon, it was still annoying.

I managed to go on a date with my second match, and overall, it went alright. However, I later discovered that she had lied about her location. She had claimed to live in my area, but in reality, she lived 45 minutes away. Additionally, she traveled frequently, spending every weekend out of town. Considering these factors, I wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with someone who would never be around and who lied about their location to attract matches from a specific area.

The third match seemed to be a perfect fit for me based on our profiles. We had a good conversation about our dogs and she expressed interest in going out twice. When I didn’t hear from her for a day or two, I followed up and asked if she was available to meet up soon. About an hour later, she unmatched with me.

The fourth match was someone I had previously matched with and talked to, but we never went out. During our conversation, she said, “I’m getting off the app, here’s my number, text me instead.” However, when I tried to text the number she gave me, it turned out to be fake. It’s frustrating to encounter fake numbers when it’s easier to simply unmatch or ghost someone.

Overall, I’m feeling disheartened and confused. After a year of healing, I am attempting to put myself out there again, only to be faced with lies, fake numbers, and sudden rejections, ghosting, or unmatching. I have never had the best experiences with dating apps, but it has never been this bad before. Usually, I am able to have a few matches per week and perhaps go on a date or two every month.

I believe that I am a moderately attractive guy with a cool job, interests and hobbies, a cute dog, and a nice apartment of my own. I approach getting to know people and pursuing genuine relationships with sincerity. I’m genuinely unsure of what I might be doing wrong this time. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.